I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
