please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
