I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
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