I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Pants 0. Shit 1.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
