just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
