I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
