tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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