you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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