I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
