okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
