I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
