This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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