But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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