Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
