Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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