a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
