i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
