where am i from again
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
