i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We had to coat check the pizza.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
