dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
