time to smoke my breakfast
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
