On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
