MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
