dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
