So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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