she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize