God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
