My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize