Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
