I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
