During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
