I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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