Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
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