At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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