Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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