butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This is not my ceiling
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
