Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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