I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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