Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
