Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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