Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize