I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
