i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
