Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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