she looked like the bat from fern gully.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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