He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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