this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
