White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
