The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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