you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
