I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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