Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
MIDGETS
????
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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