trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
