she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
