Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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