yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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