Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
