then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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