hotel room ftw
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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