Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
