Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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