the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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