Nicole vs. Life
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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