Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
