she woke up with a sticky ear
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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