why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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