Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
