And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
