it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
