i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
