i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
