we're blogging at a bar
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
