he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
