Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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