Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
