whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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