my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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