PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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