i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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