dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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